Reflecting back last week trying understand whats changed and whats affecting Memphis so much at the moment got me thinking about how all this virus madness has affected our kids on the spectrum. It’s no wonder Mr Memphis is not really coping too well…….when you think about it, what hasn’t changed!
When you break this year down so far down it’s literally been a roller coaster ride of emotions……
I’ve been hearing from so many mums whose kids are not really themselves at the moment, and not just those on the spectrum, all kids feel the energy shift and thrive best with routine and knowing what’s happening! I think we sometimes forget how things might be affecting our little one’s and how much their world has literally been turned upside down this year.
This is how our year has been so far…….
🤨 First Memphis went off to his first year of school excited but also a ball of anxiety, needing a vomit bucket on the way to school for 6 weeks literally……I sat with him in the class for the first 30 mins helping him adjust, learning where to put his bag and taking part in mat time session with him. He was confused why none of his daycare friends were there, and upset about having no friends. Making friends and socialising is hard for him, it doesn’t come naturally.
🤨 Just as he started to adjust the talk of the VIRUS started, kids had to wash their hands more, teacher was talking about what this means for the kids, parents then were not allowed in the class room anymore (Big change), you can’t hug your friends, can’t share food…..the energy had shifted to a state of panic……
😖 He had a really rough week, acting out, notes sent home so I decided might be best to keep home, this was 3 weeks earlier before term 1 ended….Especially as Memphis is considered high risk just made sense to stay home. We then pulled his brother from Daycare……
😫 Than out of no where I’m saying we need stay home and do home schooling which wasn’t very successful…..no surprise there really especially with a than 2 year old also at home.
🥺 I lost my jobs and Dad came home to work from home…..all lots of confusing changes 😩 Followed by no more therapy sessions, I’m saying we can’t see Grandparents for awhile, can’t go to shops etc….talk about super stressful for kids.
😒 He was getting very obsessive compulsive at home about washing hands, not eating food off the floor to the point I was getting worried about how scared he was regarding the virus…..so we stopped talking about it, no news on, stopped washing hands at home to try reduce some of that anxiety.
🤪 School holidays came around and all of sudden I’m saying fuck the homeschooling let’s just play. The poor guy must have been so confused again, he doesn’t even understand what school holidays is. During School holidays we had a great time, chilling out, did some camping on our block in the caravan. During this time we did say goodbye to his dummy which was a massive win.
😩 Then we are saying it’s back to school and need follow this activity list, check into the class room on the computer and do what the teacher has created for us…..he was like umm I don’t think so Mum….during that week I chatted with the school and we put some things in place to avoid the school gate madness.
😫 So it was back to school week 2, he was rather confused cos we were saying you can’t go to the shop, play with friends but you can go to school but mum and dad can’t go to work yet…..like WTF even i’m confused…..He did handle the transition back to school really well tho.
🤨 When I look back he had a pretty successful Term 2, Dad was working from home, mum wasn’t working much, therapy picked back up, he could go to the shops, life seemed like it was getting back to normal a little. Our OT even went to the class on the second last week and was blown away by how well he was transitioning within the room and interacting with his friends. The last few weeks he did begin to run away from the teachers when he thought he was in trouble.
😒 Then I began to return to work & all of a sudden it was school holidays again. This seemed to really mess things up. There went all of our routine and structure. Followed by Dad returning back to FIFO, he went on the first Tuesday. This really upset both the boys, after all dad had been home since March. Plus I worked 25 hrs or so that week. Dad was back on the second week of the school holidays.
😒 Come the Tuesday it was back to school, Dad went back to work that day. Memphis didn’t eat all day at school. Nanna came with me to pick him and he fell asleep in the car. He than had a bit of a temp so I decided keep him home. He woke up and was sick, I figured was gastro but after no one else got sick, I think was anxiety related due to not eating all day. Memphis has done this before, I’ve even been to more than one doctor and had lots of tests to try understand why he vomits with no answers.
😩 That week was by far the worst week of my parenting journey so far and let me tell you it hasn’t been smooth sailing! There was lots of yelling, pushing boundaries, fighting, slamming doors, hurting each other. Nothing seemed to help that week.
😫 The second week of Term 3 (last week) Memphis had a bumpy day, fell asleep in the car again, resulting in not going to sleep till 10pm 🙁 in the morning it was very rushed. Orlando had the biggest melt down at school drop off resulting in punching kicking and screaming the school down (at this point I’m dreaming of tequila for breakfast). Memphis went off to the class room fine but I gave him a different lunch box that kicked off a massive melt down at school, followed by a very messy afternoon 😩 That day the teacher was asking whats going on with him, whats changed because he has been very emotional and full of energy. Dad got home that day, we went to take Memphis to school Wednesday and he flat out refused too go, wouldn’t get out the car so we came home.
🤨 And that brings us too today, we are very lucky that I have the help of OT, Pysch and Speech to help bring things back on track and the school is fantastic with working me to help Memphis. When you look back on the journey so far it’s no wonder it’s taking some adjusting……
Another point worth noting is we started Memphis on a gentle body cleanse during the lock down phase, with homeopathic’s this continued into Term 2 & re-commenced during the school holidays. Given there is way to much all happening at once we are going re-visit this at a later date when things are a little more settled for him.
If your little ones or family are struggling too here’s some of the things we are doing this coming week…….
- Today I’ve spend time updating Memphis’s visuals board to better prepare him for the week ahead.
- I’ve created a Fly In & Fly Out count down chart where the kids can put a star on each day Dads away and we can count down till he is home.
- Lots of talk and prep about going to school on Monday.
- The school has a school activity planned for first thing, something he can look forward too.
- Start the days with his Anxiety Essential Oil Blend down the spine and a drop of diluted Vetiver behind the ear……
- In the morning refer to the visuals board & what needs to happen ie get dressed, shoes etc
- Our OT is creating some social stories with regards to dad been FIFO and assist the school with the running away problem
If anyone has any other ideas please comment…..
I can’t imagine what the kids and families who have had to go back into lock down must be feeling. There is such a state of unknown and I really think our kids are slipping through the cracks a little. We need to be doing what ever we can to reassure & support them. My heart goes out to all the families who have been separated for months due to flight restrictions etc……none of this is fair! If your struggling please reach out, your not alone. There is lots of love & support out there!
Now Covid can you kindly piss off now and give everyone a break!
Peace, love & oils
Chels xx
P.S If you would like a copy of anything on our vision board reach out to me, I’m happy to share our templates.
P.S.S If you would like to try Essential Oils for your family, also reach out. I can send you some samples to try. Trust me your going to love them as much as we do xx